By Callie Albaugh, MA, LAMFT
Amidst an unprecedented time, families across the country are now balancing the workload of parent, employee, and teacher. Parents have been hurled
into an arena of maintaining a structured flow of their family’s livelihood in a world that is currently mysterious to us all. We know that kids (many adults, too) thrive on consistent structure and organization. To take it a step further, kids thrive on structure that is held within aligned parental leadership. Skeptics may ask, “How on earth could you possibly expect my family to be organized during a global pandemic?” And with that, I present to you: The Family Meeting.
Make a plan, communicate the plan, invite feedback.
Pro tip – When parents agree upon the goals first and then move to tactics second they find more success. Sometimes parents start at the tactical level without making certain their is alignment on the goals.
(But first) The Pre-Family Meeting – It is essential that parents align forces on how, when and what decisions are made within the family. In this Pre-Family Meeting, come together with your co-parent to set an agenda for the meeting and a plan for the day. Think of your family as if it were a company. As parents you are the Co-CEOs, leading your family through challenges and triumphs. Parents need to be very clear with each other on where kids get input on decisions, and where kids get to make decisions. {Do your kids get to decide what they do for school activities for the day? Do your kids get to decide on when they complete their schoolwork or where?} When we parent proactively rather than reactively, we can lower anxiety and frustration across all members of the family. Parents that come together and align on the way in which they lead their family each day, alleviate the inevitable frustration that can occur from chaotic interactions.
The Family Meeting – Organize a time every single morning for the entire family to sit down and meet. Parents first present their agenda of topics and present an opportunity for kids to provide input into their own agenda items. Run through your agenda items, and again, be sure that you as parents are well aware of where your kids get to have input on decisions and where they have decision-making power. The way in which you structure your meetings or give leeway for kids to make decisions may be dependent on the developmental stage your kids are at – your teenager and your toddler may have different capacities to make/have input on decisions being made.
Pro tip – Although kids may not always get a vote on what does or does not happen, they always get to express their feelings and give input about the direction and the structure that parents provide.
Recommended Resource: For those of you that like resources, Meetings Suck by Cameron Herold will guide your parental leadership in how to run effective meetings for your family.
Each and every day your family needs its’ leadership (parents/Co-CEO’s) to show up to create a structure. The way in which your family structures and organizes life will look different than it has in the past, and that is okay. When we show up authentically and join together as a team, we can defeat the challenges we face each day.